I am because you were
Life is short. Lately, it seems like I am saying this a lot more often these last few years. A new phase of life has begun it seems.
First Mom in 2020, then Dad in 2021. Earlier this year my Uncle and my spiritual mentor Winnie. Each had played an instrumental role in the man I have become and their loss is deeply felt. Today I received word that my first and favorite “boss” had passed away…Warren. Also affectionately known as “The Duffer” and “Duffy”.
Warren’s passing hit me differently then the others. You see, no one in my life has had a bigger impact on my career and the leader I am then him. I met him in my early 20’s when I was very eager to learn and impressionable. He embodied everything I aspired to be as a people leader over the years as my career meandered long after we parted ways. So although he had been sick for the last few years, losing him never seemed possible. Each year when I would see him at our friend Sandy’s Annual Summer party (by the way, thank you Sandy for keeping us together!), I would shy away from the thought of his mortality and think, “He’s ok, I’ll see him again next year.” I remember the pit in my stomach last year when he was unable to make it. I thought to myself “Would I see him again?”
Loss prompts us to reflect on what loved ones mean to us, what they taught us and what we will bring forward from them to share with others. Warren’s passing reminds me of the impact he had on my life over the 33 years I knew him not only as a “boss”, but a mentor, a friend and part of my “family”.
It was 1992. I was 22 and fresh out of college looking for a job. Armed with a finance degree and my “idealism” as Warren would put it, I applied to an open analyst position at NACT posted on a bulletin board at Siena’s Career Center. That’s right, there was no LinkedIn, Monster, or Indeed. Heck the internet, Google, laptops, cable modems, work from home and “LOL” weren’t even a mainstream thing yet. In fact, the newspaper, roof top satellites and cable TV were still how we got the majority of our news.
I still remember arriving at the little NACT office at 296 Washington Ave Extension and being interviewed by Sandy, Jim, Jim’s mom Marge and even Warren’s wife Mary Lou (ML). Yup, it was a family affair and the first sign that this company was something special. Eventually it was time to meet with one of the founders, Mr. Duff. I honestly don’t remember what he asked or what I said. As he looked over the desk with that signature goatee, I was nervous. He was intimidating! Quickly though, he put my mind at ease with a joke and a big smile. Soon we were talking about the Steelers and Pittsburgh. He had lived there! The rest is a blur. I’ll never know if it was the lack of candidates, the kindness in his heart or the fact that I was also a Steelers fan, but regardless Warren took a chance and hired me.
Over the next 8 years, he poured wisdom into me through his words and actions, taking the time to shape me as a leader, as a husband and as a man. Consistently he modeled patience, integrity, responsibility and what a servant leader’s heart looks like. This included learning how to treat people with kindness, respect and humility regardless of position in a company. He grew my skills and confidence by trusting me with challenging situations and hard problems to solve. He made me feel seen, heard, valued, included and appreciated…but most of all he made me feel genuinely cared for, even loved liked family.
Warren even shaped my definition of what I came to believe is meant by “company culture” and how to run a “family” business. Through holiday company lunches at TGI Friday’s, summer events at the Saratoga Race Track (he even gave us gambling money), driving hours to attend my grandmother Nanny’s funeral (giving me a Magnolia Tree to plant in her honor that blooms to this day), and of course the annual Christmas bonus “envelope” handed out by his wife ML that made us all feel special. These are only a glimpse of the things Warren did to build meaningful connection with the people he hired. He made it more than just a company’s culture. He made it feel like a family. It felt like a family because of him.
Leaving him and my NACT family after 8 years in 2000 to pursue my next opportunity was the the hardest career change I would ever make. Looking back, I am thankful how he prepared me for what would come over the next 25 years at GE. Things like how to build exceptional teams that want to work together to accomplish great things, overcome immense challenges, and solve difficult problems together. This involved putting people first and leading with empathy, compassion and authenticity. Most importantly, leading with my heart and “family” mentality,…just like Warren had shown me.
Warren would have been 89 this coming June. I haven’t seen him since our annual get together 2 years ago but he often comes to mind. With his passing recently, I guess I was wrong about seeing him again this year at the annual party. Yet for some reason, I know he will be there with us sitting in the corner, with his big smile and signature goatee as we all reminisce with love and gratitude about the man he is and impact he had on all our lives.
Thank you for everything, Warren. Especially for the man I am today. I am a better human bring because I knew you. “I am because you were.” I will do my best to live and model what you taught me. I will continue to pour into others as you did me. Say hi to Mom and Dad in heaven for me, and if possible find Nanny… I’m sure she would like to thank you for the Magnolia tree. May you rest in peace.
Here We Go Steelers!

