Will You Remember The “Last”?

Birthdays are mile markers in our lives. Matthew’s recent 13th birthday proved to be no less significant and served as a reminder that part of celebrating the first things in life is appreciating the “lasts”.

We have a tradition of taking the kids out for a birthday dinner. This usually involves them choosing the restaurant and us secretly arranging some form of public spectacle of cake, candles and an entire restaurant of people singing “Happy Birthday” to them. Matthew’s upcoming 13th birthday and transition to becoming a teenager would be no different.

This year he chose the Hibachi Grill near our house. The sights, sounds, smell and entertainment always captures his attention. In fact, we all enjoy the experience especially watching the kids attempt to catch flying zucchini in their mouths while the adults have zake shot at them from 6 feet away!

As we finished dinner, the waitress surprised Matthew with a special dessert and a big firework like candle. As the restaurant sang “Happy Birthday”, I watched his expression. His joy, his excitement, his innocence and his free spirit. Even the “birthday crown” didn’t make him self conscious. He simply smiled, laughed and savored the moment …same as I did.

As we finished dinner, I said, “Hey Matt, let’s go get your last cookie.”

“What?”, he asked.

“You know, at Hannaford (grocery store in Northeast). Tomorrow you will be 13 so this is your last chance,” I said in a persuasive tone.

He smiled and reluctantly agreed. Off we went.

First some background…

When the kids were young and my daughter was still in high school, we would make grocery shopping at Hannaford a family affair. Armed with our paper “list”, now a digital app, we would divide and conquer. As the kids have grown, their efficiency and accuracy in getting the items assigned to them as well as the speed at which they do it, has consistently improved over the years. But one “ritual” always slowed down the process. A ritual I have recently come to appreciate even more and one I will never forget now that Matthew has turned 13.

You see, as soon as we would enter the store, Matthew would make a b-line for the bakery counter. On top of the glass counter sat a see through container filled with sugar cookies. Now, these were not your ordinary sugar cookies. These were “FREE and reserved for kids 12 and under only” as the posted sign asserted.

Initially, the counter was too high and he would ask “Dad, can I have a cookie?” I always replied the same way. “Of course” and I would hand him one.

Eventually, he was able to reach the container and would take a cookie by himself. Each time I would read the inscription aloud:

“Free cookies for kids 12 and under”, and would joke with him that soon, he won’t be able to have those cookies.

He would laugh and say “That’s ok. I can have them now! To bad you can’t have any!”, taunting me with the cookie.

Back to the story…

As we exited the car and walked towards the Hannfords, I was almost in slow motion. The feel and smell of the brisk winter night (Matthew was born in January), the sound of the wind blowing gently through the trees and the sight of his silhouette as he walked slightly ahead, no longer a child but not quite a man.

As we entered the store, he paused and cautiously looked around.

“I hope no one sees me doing this”, he mumbled.

Then he went straight towards the bakery counter as he had done hundreds of times before. Standing almost 5’9” inches tall he easily reached into the container and I re-read the sign aloud one last time:

“Free cookies for kids 12 and under”, I said with a sentimental tone.

The container of cookies was almost empty. In fact, only 1 cookie remained…symbolic of the end of this stage of life with his “last cookie” waiting for him.

As he reached in, memories of the last 13 years flashed through my mind. From sitting in a stroller and watching me retrieve the cookie for him to him being able to reach the counter and grab a cookie himself…and before I could say anything, he reached into the container and was about to eat the cookie.

“Matt, WAIT, hold on!”, I said. “I want a picture.”

His body expression said it all.

Really? Of what? Me eating a cookie?”, he said sarcastically with a smirk.

“Not just a cookie. Your LAST FREE cookie.” Tomorrow you will be 13…no more FREE cookies.” I said.

“OK. Hurry, before someone sees me doing this”, he grumbled.

<Click. Click. Click.>

3 pictures. I got it. Done.

He quickly gobbled down the cookie and said with a smile on his face, “Let’s Go!” and briskly walked towards the door.

That was it. The moment and “last” cookie was over.

Our lives are filled with many moments. Those that come “first” have a tendency to be celebrated, photographed and remembered like our first car, our first love, our first job, our child’s first step and even your first birthday as a teenager. These mark the beginning of the next phase of life, full of excitement for the future and what lies ahead but can easily overshadow the amazing journey that has already unfolded. Where we have been. What we have completed. Where we are today. Who we are today. Right now. This moment. Sometime “last” can be even better then first…

What “last’s” are unfolding right now that you maybe overlooking? Sometimes it is as simple as a last “FREE” cookie, a last birthday crown or a last family shopping trip that can remind us of the importance of being present and savoring our “lasts”. #CelebrateLasts