What’s Your “Coffee”?

With the holidays upon us and the year coming to an end, a much overdo trip to see my mom before Christmas reminded me to be mindful of the things that drive me in life…

As an adult, I don’t get back to my childhood hometown during the Christmas season much anymore. Thankfully, this year the scheduling worked out, so my son Matthew and I decided to drive down and surprise my mom, spending a night with her in the house I grew up in.

That night at bedtime, we headed down the hallway to the bedroom I had slept in as a child. Memories flooded my mind of the years spent there and the time that had passed since I was still a “believer” during this time of year. We changed, brushed our teeth, climbed into bed and began chatting about growing up in this room and what life was like “back then”. We had never done that before, so I seized the moment to share a part of me he would have otherwise never known.

As we both began to tire, he asked me “what time are you getting up tomorrow?”

“Normal time”, I said.

“5am on a Saturday…why?!?” he exclaimed.

I paused. Thought for a second and said…”I like being up early, it gives me a chance to think and I love being here.”

He shrugged, smiled like I was crazy and said “goodnight” as he rolled over.

As I laid there, I listened to the sounds of the house and stared at the ceiling as I had done thousands of times as a child. Where had the time gone? How did I get here? Was I really almost 50 with 2 kids, a wife and a “ceiling” of my own? Thoughts of the past, present and future gently filled my mind as I drifted off to sleep.

The morning came quick. In fact, the alarm didn’t even get a chance to go off. I was already awake…4:45am. My mind seemed to be tugging at my body like a child with a parent on Christmas Day morning. An excitement seemed to be “brewing” inside me.

I got up, got dressed, and wandered down the hallway…just like I had done so many years before. The house was still quiet. I was the only one up. Walking down the hallway again continued the avalanche of childhood Christmas memories. The house. The decorations. The presents. The family members no longer with us. Even the silence. It seemed like yesterday as the memories pulled me back to a simpler time, a time where my future was ahead of me and my dreams were just beginning to take shape.

As much as nostalgia had gotten me up, it was the “thought” of coffee that further directed my steps. So into the kitchen I went, straight for the coffee machine. Eight scoops, twelve cups of water and 10 minutes later, the house was full of the aroma of coffee (old school, no Keurig here!). I poured a big cup, went into the living room and sat in my favorite spot as a child.

“Ahhhh…nothing like a real cup of coffee at moms,” I thought.

As I inhaled the aroma and sipped the coffee, I looked out the big bow window into the dark countryside. My thoughts began to wander to this past year. The ups and downs. The struggles and victories. The growth of my children, the obstacles we had overcome as a family and the strength of my marriage. God had certainly been faithful. Now with perspective looking back, it was clear it had been an amazing year, and to Matthew’s question that previous evening regarding getting up early, “this was why I was up at 5am”: To think. To reflect. To be grateful. And to “brew” my plans for the upcoming year.

Suddenly, a faint sound caught my attention. It was my mom, now 72, shuffling down the hallway.

“Good morning,” she said in a whisper.

“Morning mom,“ I answered. “Why are you up so early?” I asked.

“Coffee. I smelled coffee and I wanted to spend time with you,” she said softly.

“Sit, I’ll grab you a cup,” I said.

As the sun slowly started to rise on that 6 degree winter morning, we reminisced and talked about the past, the present and our dreams for the future. We hadn’t done that in years. A special moment I would forever be grateful for…who knows how many more Christmases we would have together.

Soon, the house was filled with the sounds and laughter of others. I was glad I had gotten up “early as usual”, not only to reflect on my life but to spend alone time with my mom. She had unknowingly given me a new perspective when I asked her “why are you up so early?” Her response of “coffee and to spend time with you” got me thinking about my intentions each day, the goals I have set and what drives me to “get out of bed”. Coffee now became my metaphor for having a clear purpose in life that directs my steps and gets me up each day. I thanked her for her inadvertent wisdom and inspiration for this year end blog post, but most of all for her love.

As you approach the new year and your future, what dreams or fears are driving you? What inspires you to get out of bed each day? What’s the purpose that is “brewing” inside you like childhood excitement on Christmas morning?

In other words, what’s your “coffee”?