What Meaning Will You Give?

The sound of the Facetime shattered the morning silence.

It was Megan. It was 7am. Nothing good has ever followed a call this early from her. Nothing. At 16, it was a car accident shortly after getting her license. At 18, a season ending ankle sprain her freshman year of college. My mind raced. Now what?

Hoping for the best, I put a smile on my face and answered:
“Well, something must be wrong if you’re calling us this early…what’s up?” I said half joking.

Silence.

“Where’s mom?” Megan blurted out, tears in her eyes and crying.

“She’s in the shower. What’s wrong? Are you ok?”

“No. I tested positive for COVID.” she exclaimed.

“Ok. Ok. Try to stay calm. Let’s discuss what this means…”

Meaning.
I’ve come to believe that it’s the meaning we give to life’s “storms”, not the “storm” itself that determines the quality of people’s lives. Meaning shapes our perspective, our reaction, our reality and our life. Ultimately, meaning is a choice.
For Megan, this “storm” (COVID) meant fear and uncertainty…but most of all, isolation from family, friends and the sport she loved. She was panicked and at 200 miles away, we needed a safe plan fast!

“Should we bring her home?” my wife asked.

“Probably not unless we want to expose ourselves. Plus, Matt wouldn’t be able to go into school for at least 10 days afterwards and we would all need to be quarantined,” I said in frustration.

“Right. How about you and Matt stay at my mom’s and I’ll stay with her here at our house,” my wife suggested, desperate to find a solution.

“No. I don’t want to take a chance with you getting it either or having to be quarantined for another 10 days somewhere else. Too risky to me and we would never forgive ourselves if something bad happened to any of us, ” I asserted with concern.

“Ugh! There aren’t many good options. Let’s talk to Megan,” she replied.

With us being 200 Miles away and a primary caregiver for my mother in law, it was decided that Megan would stay at the campus provided quarantine housing… alone, for 10 days. Not perfect, but the best of all options.

The journey had begun. The question was what meaning would we each associate to this “storm”? Would we choose to find an empowering meaning in the path ahead or be consumed by fear, anger or paralysis?

As her mild symptoms began to disappear, a deep loneliness began to set in…a strange place, all alone, all day was taking its toll on her. Thankfully her life wasn’t at risk, but the meaning she was giving this “storm” was beginning to impact her mindset.

“I can’t do this for 7 more days! This is terrible!”, she cried aloud.

“You can do it,” my wife reassured her over FaceTime. (Thank God for technology.)

This desperation went on for days 3 through 5. We felt helpless as parents. Like we had to choose the lesser of two evils. Having her self-isolate was the right decision for the safety of everyone but it still was hard to know she would be alone for 10 days to deal with this. Thankfully she wasn’t sick.

“Dad, I need something to do. I have too much time on my hands. Can I do one of your coaching programs?” she eagerly asked.

Gleaming with pride I answered…

“Great idea. I have a new one that I would love to share with you. It’s actually a 10-day program and perfect for this situation. It’s called RESILIENCE: 10 Steps to navigating, adapting and growing in life’s storms.

“Great. Send it to me!” she said.

Over the next 10 days, she walked through my 3 building blocks of Self Love, Self-Awareness and Self Discipline. She learned 10 new habits to prepare and empower her when faced with adversity in her life and how to find an empowering meaning in any “storm”. These will require ongoing practice, and forms the habits needed for building resilience into our lives during good times and bad.

Megan has since returned to “normal” college life, thankfully with no long term symptoms or cardiac complications as far as we know. This storm may be over, but the meaning she gave to this experience and the habits she developed as a result will forever be a part of her. May God bless those still battling COVID and bring peace to those that have lost those they love.