Being Authentic Builds Connection
My son and I visited my mom this past weekend just outside Cooperstown, NY. We spent most of the day outside, enjoying the weather, hiking and riding quads in the woods. As we traveled along a trail, something caught my eye. It was red and green and shined in the sunlight. After a closer look, we determined it was an amazing little insect about half the size of a dime and sitting on a tall blade of grass. It’s shape, colors and movements were unique and intoxicating. We found ourselves lost in watching it walk around on the blades of grass, clumsy in appearance but surefooted as it navigated the terrain…unaware of us and happy with just “being itself.”
It made me think about what people “see” when they meet me. Do I catch their eye with my words, actions and appearance? Do they see my authentic self or a facade I wear to hide my insecurities and fears?
This point was made again this past Friday on a call I had with a colleague. I had been given the name of another executive coach to share best practices, experiences and our journey as a coach. At the start of the call, I made the decision to enable my video so that she could hear AND see me. She agreed to do the same. This was the first step towards being authentic by letting us “see each other.” This paved the way for our discussion and helped to quickly build rapport. We talked, laughed and shared interests about dogs, coaching and to my surprise…our faith. You see, during our conversation I noticed a necklace with a beautiful cross… an outward sign only visible because we were on video. Although sometimes a sensitive topic, I decided to compliment her on the necklace and showed her my cross and necklace which was hidden beneath my shirt. Immediately, our connection grew stronger and the authenticity of our interaction deepened. We talked about our journey of faith, the parallels it has with caring for people as a coach, and not being afraid to be ourselves. In fact, each day as we interact with others, we have the opportunity to share many outward expressions that tell people who we really are. The more we are the authentic, the deeper the connections we build as coaches, parents, colleagues and people.
This all started with a simple decision to share our video during a phone call. The willingness to be “seen”, to be ourselves and to share our colors, shapes and values deepened the connection we made with one another. It proved, the more authentic we are, the more authentic others will likely be too…a lesson we can even learn from a marvelous little insect!
I’ve been a Pittsburgh Steelers fan since the 70’s. I’ve watched them win and lose Super Bowls. Through the ups and downs, I have never changed teams. I have jerseys, banners, flags, a “terrible towel”…basically black and yellow everything. My children are following in my footsteps with their own assortment of Steeler “gear”. Every Sunday during football season it is clear who our favorite team is based on how we dress, talk and act. What we believe about the Steelers on the inside can easily be seen on the outside during football season. Loving Jesus is no different. In fact, the more committed we are to learning the Word on the inside, the more we show our love for others on the outside… and in turn, our love for God.