Parenting.

I have found nothing more rewarding or humbling then being a parent. Time after time, I see how God must feel as he “raises” me and how the mistakes our children make are to us as our mistakes as parents are to God; and how his love and forgiveness of our imperfections should never be forgotten.

This time of year is very busy for my family, especially on the weekends now that my daughter’s AAU basketball season has begun. Therefore consistently attending mass from April to June is put at risk since the tournaments are Saturday/Sunday, and usually out of town.

When we do make mass during tournaments, we are in such a rush that we can forget to bless ourselves upon entry to the church. Slouching in the pews, being distracted and not always wearing our Sunday best is evidence of life’s great balancing act we are performing.

Megan’s most recent tournament demonstrated that “knowing” the word can be different then “living” the Word.

The tournament was in Saratoga. It began on Saturday with 9am, 1:30pm, 3:30, 5:25pm pm game times…Saturday mass was not an option. Sunday games were 8:30am and 1:30pm. Although the tournament was in Saratoga. Amy and I decided 11am mass on Sunday was possible.

Therefore, I would drive Megan to the first game at 8:30am, and drive back to pick up Amy and Matthew for the 11am mass, and then back to Saratoga for the 1:30pm game…a lot of driving. As we rushed into 11am mass, we were handed the fish, symbolizing we would bring the “gifts” to Father when the time came. Clumsily I accepted, not knowing the irony that would soon unfold.

As the second collection finished, it was time to bring up the “gifts”. I leaned over and said “let’s all go up as a family today”. We got up and headed to the back of the church. Just then, I noticed Megan’s basketball sweatshirt… my heart sunk. Not only was it clear from our attire that we had just rushed from a basketball tournament to church, but we would now walk down the aisle with the “gifts” and a sweat shirt proclaiming “Basketball is Life”. Quickly we delivered the gifts and sat down. I immediately was embarrassed, frustrated and even angry with everyone, especially with myself.

• How could we let other things make us unprepared for mass?
• Why didn’t I plan better so we could’ve changed attire before?
• Why did I accept bringing up the gifts?

As I sat and pondered these questions, a calmness came over me. A feeling that these were not the questions God was asking me, In fact, the only person judging me was me. I relaxed, took a breath and appreciated my perfect imperfection.

At dinner a couple of weeks ago, we joined hands and began the prayer as we normally do:

God is good. God is great. Thank you for this food.

Please help us make good choices and guide us down the right path.

Please watch over our friends & family and keep them safe.

Please help those that are less fortunate than we are…

At this point, we say a prayer for each person on our prayer list. For example, please watch over Poppy, Sammy, the Frost Family, baby Ryan, Andre, Thomas, Emmy, and many others. But this time was shaping up to be different…

First, some context…

When Megan was 3, we started saying the above prayer at dinner. We used simple and easy language for her to understand: “God is good. God is great. Thank you for this food.” Overtime, it evolved to include other easy reminders that we felt were important like making good choices, asking God for guidance, watching over others, and helping those in need. To this day, we say it at dinner, taking turns, including Matthew.

Next, as many of you know I like gardening. Flowers, bushes, vegetables…I love it all. Matthew has acquired this love from me and likes to go to Home Depot and buy little packets of seeds. His choices are always linked to odd shaped vegetables that resonate with him…multi-color carrots, pumpkins, gourds and watermelons. Some get planted, others don’t, but we always have fun picking them out.

Back to the story…

So, I had had a lousy day at work, the kids had been teasing one another and we were all tired from being up late the night before. Needless to say, I was a little on edge and grumpy. So that night, I offered to say the prayer but when it was time for the prayer list, I added…

God, please help daddy with his “impatience”

I paused, took a deep breath and finished with the prayer list. No one said anything (except Amen), but it was clear that daddy needed some space and “help”. We had dinner and continued with our nightly routine. To me, I thought little of my “request” and was just happy the day was over.

A week or so later, we joined hands again at dinner and I asked “who wants to say the prayer?” Quickly Matthew volunteered and said “I will, but first I have something for you”. He got up, and grabbed a Home Depot bag. Inside it was a packet of seeds. This time it wasn’t a multi-colored vegetable, in fact it was a flower….a packet of “impatiens”. I was speechless. Matthew, unaware of how God had just worked through him to “help daddy”, said the prayer, started eating and then asked with a mouth full of food “Do you like them?”

As parents, our words and actions are seeds planted in our children. Some germinate and grow as intended, some never take hold, and some become more then we could have imagined like the “impatiens”.

What matters isn’t always the result, but that we take the time to see what we are sowing, the time to enjoy what we are reaping and the patience in between.

God is all around us, planting seeds that can grow into beautiful “flowers”. All we need to do is look and listen like a child and not be “impatien-t”.

“As for that in the good soil, they are those who, hearing the word, hold it fast in an honest and good heart, and bear fruit with patience.” – Luke 8:15

17 years ago this past August, I proposed to my wife Amy at the Chapel of the Holy Cross in Sedona, Arizona. This past weekend, we returned for 4 days… to remember, to reconnect and to rekindle the love we shared that warm summer day; and to thank God for his “ever perfect plan” for our lives.

“Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.” Matthew 19:6

Whenever we tell the “proposal” story, many say “how romantic.” But candidly, it was an accident…so I thought. Yes, I had the ring in my pocket for 4 days without Amy noticing. Yes, I navigated airport security without a pat down or awkward proposal scene. And yes, I was planning to propose in Arizona all along. What was different was the “how” and “where”. I had planned to find a scenic spot in the Grand Canyon, our final destination, and “pop the question” there. Little did I know, God had a plan of his own.

We had started in Tucson, staying with Amy’s Aunt, Annelise whom I shared “my secret” with and who graciously helped us build our travel plan. This included traveling west through Phoenix then north to Sedona, Flagstaff and eventually the Grand Canyon. As we arrived in Sedona, we were captivated by the breath taking views, soaring red rock mountains, and strong spiritual presence. Somehow, we ended up on Chapel Road…I don’t remember if we consciously planned this or not. What I do remember is arriving at an enormous cross like structure jutting out from a 1000 ft. red rock wall called the Chapel of the Holy Cross. This symbol of faith, created in 1956 by Marguerite Brunswig Staude was described as “a monument to faith, but a spiritual fortress so charged with God, that it spurs man’s spirit godward”.

We walked up and sat down… mesmerized by this incredible symbol of God’s presence in Arizona. Poetically, the sun began to set. Silence filled the air with the last departing tourist. We were alone. God had now revealed “the plan he had” for us. A moment that would forever bind us to Him, each another and Sedona.

And yes, I got down on one knee, took out the ring and asked her…

A lot has happened since that day in Sedona 17 years ago. Ups and downs. Good days and “learning” days. But what has remained true is our love for each other, for God and for Sedona. This return trip reminded us (again) of the importance of nurturing our marriage daily, celebrating our love frequently and centering our marriage on God.

It inspired me to share some of the media we use to honor and maintain the sacrament of matrimony:

First, the movie “Fireproof”, from the creators of “Facing the Giants” and “Courageous”. As a firefighter, Captain Caleb Holt, played by Kirt Cameron, is a hometown hero…rescuing people from burning buildings and life threatening situations. At home, it is a different story. He and his wife Catherine have grown apart. Competing careers, selfish behaviors and a lack of real love towards one another threatens their marriage. Headed for divorce, Caleb confides in his dad who urges him to postpone the divorce to embark on a 40 Day journey called the “Love Dare” first. Reluctantly, Caleb agrees and begins this journey to understand what it truly means to love your spouse as God intended.

Next, “The Love Dare”, a companion resource to the movie, is the day by day journey Caleb took in the movie towards strengthening his relationship with God, himself and his spouse. Simple language, relevant scripture and a clear articulation of how God expects us to love our spouse makes this a must have resource for all marriages.

Seek the truth, take the dare…

This always seems to be a lesson I need to learn over and over…Ask. Seek. Knock. It seems simple. Ask God for help. Seek his direction. Pray regularly.

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock and it will be opened to you” Matthew 7:7

For me, surrounding myself with the right “media” helps to remind me that God is all around us and that if we “seek” him in everything we do, we will surely find him. Faith filled media is no different. It is everywhere and it has never been more accessible. All we need to do is: Ask. Seek. Knock.

This month I have included 5 new Christian media choices I have come across to illustrate further the growing trend towards using digital media to “spread the Word”. More radio stations in the Capital region, more movies in the theaters, and even TV shows about the Bible!

Listen. Watch. Support these media choices. The more you do, the more widely this will become available and the easier it will be for you and others to: Ask. Seek. Knock.

 

In today’s world, athletics are sometimes taken too seriously. Even to the point that a child could be misled into believing their “identity” or worth is based on whether they “win or lose”.

“Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, this is the way; walk in it.” Isaiah 30:21

Last weekend, my daughter Megan competed in an AAU Basketball Tournament at Siena College. She loves the game. In fact, our whole family enjoys playing together. As a parent though, we must balance how we measure her success on the court. Points, rebounds, steals or assists might help her team “win”, but how she conducts herself during the game is far more important in the eyes of God. The final game reminded us of this very important lesson.

Megan plays AAU for the JC (Jesus Christ) Ballers. Their motto is God, Family, School, Basketball ….in that order. Her team has 8 girls. This weekend, some of the girls couldn’t make it, so we started the final game with 5 players and ended the half with only 4 due to injury… the other team had 12 players. This set the stage for a lesson on faith, heart and remembering what really matters.

By half time, the girls were exhausted, but to everyone’s surprise, only down 12 points. Sweat, tears and fear threatened their ability to continue, but they weren’t giving up. The coaches told them how proud they were of their effort, character and team work. Then suddenly, a 6th girl showed up! The girls immediately rejoiced. Bursts of laughter, joy and most of all…hope. As a parent, it was inspiring to see these young girls, bravely take the court again…now with fresh determination and continued faith in one another…just how David must have felt when he faced Goliath.

The 2nd half proved to be very physical, testing their will every step of the way. Slowly they chipped away at the lead …and with 3 minutes to play, were only down by 5 points…

This brings me to this month’s review of the movie “Seven Days in Utopia” rated “G” which follows the story of Luke Chisolm, a young golfer trying to turn pro. When his first big opportunity turns out to be a public disaster, Luke escapes the pressures of the game and finds himself stranded in Utopia, Texas, home to former pro golfer and rancher Johnny Crawford (Robert Duvall). Johnny teaches Luke a new way to look at life and golf, forcing Luke to question not only his past choices, but his future direction.

The movie reaches its climax with Luke attempting a 20 foot tournament winning putt.

As Luke strikes the ball and the crowd holds their breath…. the movie ends, leaving the audience wondering whether or not he made the putt…

Did the putt go in?
Did the girls win?

By not disclosing how it ends, the movie as well as Megan’s game, challenges us to ask a better question. Instead of “did he win?” Ask “is winning what really mattered?”

Growing up I always heard “it isn’t whether you win or lose, it’s how you play the game”. As a kid, I used to think that was said to make the losing team feel better but now I see it means “life is about the faith and relationships we build; and the character and integrity we maintain while doing it”. More importantly, that God has a greater purpose for our lives; and that putting a ball in a cup or in a basket isn’t how God defines success or our worth.

The girls left happy that day. Happy with themselves. Happy with each other. Just plain happy… unaware of the life lesson they had just taught those watching.

Did the girls win in the game? Did the putt go in?  Honestly, does it really matter?

With Father’s Day approaching on June 17th, I thought it would be a great time to re-run the first review I did for St. Jude’s last Fall as a gift idea. I have watched this movie at least a dozen times with my family. Each time it brings us closer, each time it reinforces the kind of “dad” God wants me to be…

As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord Joshua 24:15

Fatherhood. Few words carry more responsibility. Yet, in today’s society, I am not sure we truly understand what God intended it to mean.

“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6

It sounds simple, but how? Growing up in a single parent household and not having a strong father figure, I have struggled over the years to define what being a good father meant and how to “train” my children the way God intended.

Last Fall, Sherwood Pictures, debuted another must see movie called “Courageous” that goes a long way in showing us how.  From the opening scene, “Courageous” challenges fathers to think. To think about what they would do, what they are doing, what they should do, but most importantly what they will do after seeing this movie.

The movie is set in Albany, Georgia with four policeman and their families, each dealing with their past, the stress of their careers, maintaining their marriages, and most importantly “connecting” with their children as fathers.
Early on, the movie paints a picture of each father and their family, allowing the audience to decide which they relate to the most. It is not long before tragedy strikes one family, challenging their faith in God’s plan and what it means to be a good father to those left behind. Emotional, relatable and heartfelt, the producers give a front row seat to one man’s journey to make sense of what happened, his realization that he no longer wants to be a “good enough” father and that it is his responsibility as a father to “train” his children on the Word. He authors his decision in what he calls a “resolution” based on the Bible, inspiring the other fathers to make the same commitment in a moving ceremony with their families before God.

Several twists and turns occur throughout the movie, symbolizing that our commitment to the Word will always be tested but that our faith in the Lord and the example we set for our children should never waiver. This ensures that generations to come “will not depart from it [the Word]”. Producers end the movie honoring these men and challenge fathers in the audience by asking “where are you men of courage… who will answer the call?”

In the end, the message is clear: Fatherhood is about putting God at the center of everything we do.

Note: This movie is rated PG13 due to a mature storyline and some intense and violent “chase” scenes, so review prior to sharing with your family to ensure appropriateness.

To “evangelize” means to share the gospel with others.

When Jesus was alive, he went town to town, “door to door”, interacting with as many people as possible to share the good news. Although this is still the most personal way, today’s technology enables us to “evangelize” to anyone, anywhere from the comfort of our homes through social networking websites like Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube.

Below is brief summary of each site including their recognizable “icons”. To get you started, I discovered The Evangelist uses all of them to share, connect and reach as many people as possible! Therefore, use The Evangelist website as a first step towards learning how to use these social networking sites.

Facebook.com –  is a social networking service launched in 2004 by a Harvard student. Users may create a personal profile, add other users as friends, exchange messages, share pictures and join common-interest user groups. Facebook has 845 million users.

Twitter.com –  is an online social networking service and micro-blogging service that enables its users to send and read text-based posts of up to 140 characters, known as “tweets”. It was created in March 2006. Twitter has over 140 million active users.

Youtube.com  – is a video-sharing website, created by three former PayPal employees in February 2005, on which users, companies, and organizations can upload, view and share videos.

** Remember, social networking sites require you to register, setup a profile and choose a user ID and password. If you need help, ask ANY teenager! **

I bought my first cell phone back in 1995. This was used mostly for emergencies or to be reminded by my wife to pick up something at the grocery store.

Now more 15 years later, cell phones have evolved to be “smart phones” and can do a lot more than make phone calls. They now provide easy access to email, the internet, text messaging, playing games, watching movies, taking pictures, listening to music and even downloading applications or “apps” to make things even easier. I’ll admit, we are an Apple household. We love our iPhone, iPad, iTouch, and Apple TV. It is so convenient to have access anywhere, on any device to any of our videos, music, pictures, apps, notes and email.

This week’s review is about an “app” I found called “iMissal – Catholic App”. For $4.99, you can download this “app” for iPhone, iPad, iPod, Android, BlackBerry, or Kindle Fire. This allows you to always have the bible, the current week’s gospel, daily meditations, prayers, Catholic News and more with you at all times and in one place! I found this “app” to be easy to use, accurate and very convenient.

Here is an overview:

Complete Missal – A complete Missal is included along with a full liturgical calendar with all the Mass Readings. Plus, you can even listen to the Mass Readings if desired!

My Daily Bread – This includes a unique bible verse for every day of the year in 3 different bible translations (NAB, NIV & KJV). You can even save your favorites or share them with your friends via e-mail or Facebook!

Prayers – A large collection of Catholic Prayers are included and sorted by category to easily find a prayer for a particular purpose or special need.

Catholic News – Catholic news and events are sent directly to you for easy access and review.

Saint a Day – For an additional charge, you can buy “Saint a Day” to learn about the life of a Saint each day and review Saint Prayers.

 

Buy iMissal for yourself and someone special as a gift for Lent or Easter and never be without the Word!