Where’s Your Buddy?
Last week my 11 year old son Matthew spent 5 nights and 6 days in the woods with 200+ Scouts. I decided to join him and took the Adult Coverage Night shift from 6pm to 7am and worked during the day. It was the first camping trip that lasted longer than one night for both of us. Suffice to say, camping for this long was an adjustment but the time I spent with him, the scouts and what I (re)learned about caring for each other, teamwork and asking for help made the sleepless nights and sore back worth it!
One of the most important concepts in Scouts is the “Buddy System” which was reinforced verbally daily and with signs throughout the campsite asking: “Where’s Your Buddy”. Wikipedia defines this as “a cooperative arrangement whereby individuals are paired or teamed up and assume responsibility for one another’s instruction, productivity, welfare, or safety.” In other words, instilling in the scouts that they should always do things in pairs or groups, and to never leave anyone alone to ensure the safety and welfare of the troop. This includes eating, sleeping, swimming, hiking, and going anywhere. This concept, although simple, can be easily forgotten, especially when the scouts barely know each other, the campground is dark and unfamiliar, and the newness of the situation is overwhelming. In fact, on the second day, one of the first-time campers “lost his buddy” after dinner. Now to be clear, the scout was never in danger. He was actually with another troop, but unsure where his buddy was and how to get back to camp. So he did the right thing…he stayed put and waited to be found. It was brief but long enough to bring fear and a stern reminder from the Troop Leader that scouts need to stay with their buddy, care for each another, and that we are safer and stronger together. Good lessons…for even adults.
This experience resonated with me not only because I was the adult that “found” the scout but because I remember a time not so long ago in my life when I was “lost”. You see, when I was younger I depended on my family, friends, teachers, and coaches for their support, council and direction. But as I grew older and became more independent, my confidence grew and eventually I forgot the importance and role the “buddy system” plays. I stopped regularly consulting others and thought being an adult, parent or leader meant you had all the answers or “I could figure it out myself”. In fact, my pride, fear and facade became an obstacle to my own growth and happiness. This isolation led to an adult type of “lost” where what I valued, what I wanted, what was important and why I did things became unclear and confusing. In fact, in the busyness of the last 20 years of getting married, buying a home, raising children, enduring changes at work and losing loved ones along the way, I had lost the purpose of my life. Days blurred together and the “why” I did it was lost. Thankfully, I made the decision to get council and hired a “buddy” or what we adults refer to as a “coach”. This coach has helped me gain clarity on my life, redefine what I want and most importantly, recover my purpose and why I do what I do. It also reinforced that we are stronger as a “troop” and that the more wise council we get in life and the more we share ourselves with others, the less likely we are to get lost. This has made all the difference in my life.
Not everyone needs a coach, but who we get council from matters. Having an objective third party and/or someone we trust to work with through challenges brings clarity, comfort and perspective. “Buddies” in our lives can provide the reciprocal guidance, help, caring and support needed as we weather the ups and downs…hopefully minimizing the number of times we get “lost” in the woods of life.
So I have to ask…Where’s your buddy?
As my wife and I were coming back from a trip to my hometown this past weekend, a group of 20+ motorcycles came up behind us and passed. As they drove by, each bike roared that signature sound that make many dream: “That will be me someday”. Freedom. Unity. Harmony. Each bike was from the same manufacturer. Riders wore matching and embroidered leather jackets. Many had beards, tattoos and sunglasses. Some wore bike helmets while others let the wind blow in their hair. Swiftly they passed, focused on the road ahead. Close your eyes…can you hear it… can you feel it…. but most of all…can you see it? (If not, I had my wife take the attached picture)
Before I finish that thought, I have always been a fan of the British-American author, motivational speaker and organizational consultant Simon Sinek. His candor, insight, humor and direct delivery style always captures my attention. Plus he challenges my preconceptions of what a leader really is and makes me want to improve. I have watched his videos and TedTalks, and recently read his book “Start with Why”. In his book, he challenges leaders to inspire their customers and employees by defining their company mission first in terms of “why” they are in business not by “what” the business does. By defining why a company is in business first, he believes it inspires people and therefore builds deeper, longer lasting connections not only with customers but also employees. I’ll explain it this way…
In all 3 examples, Simon points out that he believes their success was linked to a mission that was first based on “why” the company is in business (to advance humankind, to fulfill dreams and to serve people) and NOT “what” the company did (make computers, bikes and offer the lowest prices). He calls this the “Golden Circle” and contends that when the mission starts with “why”, it inspires and can connect at a personal level with customers and employees that share those same beliefs. Their purchase of the product or acceptance of a job from a “why” based company can represent an outward expression of who they believe they are… and likely is congruent with their values. They may even subconsciously think “my purchase or job advances humankind, fulfills dreams and serves the community” but whether it does or doesn’t isn’t the point. In fact, the point is if a company’s purpose begins with “why” and aligns with the beliefs of their employees and customers, it can inspire them to become the best version of themselves and create a “cult like following” or in other words…a common culture to live by.
My family and I are returning from a week of vacation at the beach. The hotel we stayed at has many pools, beaches, water slides and activities as well as secluded quiet areas to read, reflect and relax…something for everyone.
