The Miracle to Pay Forward
A poem by Derrick Rumenapp
Things would be changing,
as his head hit the floor.
The life we had known,
would be no more.
The pain would run deep,
for all those that cared.
We would try to hide,
but none would be spared.
Little could be done,
little could be known.
The symptoms, the shaking,
the cries and the groans.
I watched and I waited,
for the next scary time.
Holding my breath,
his hand in mine.
His eyes tell the story,
his movements are the key.
To unlocking the mystery,
of what this could be.
The seconds feel like hours,
the minutes feel like days.
As his body convulses,
and eyes become glazed.
We wait for a sign
a laugh or a cry.
Why did this happen?
What should we try?
The reprieve comes slowly
But then he is back.
"What happened?" he asks,
He must have lost track.
For the next few minutes,
we sigh in relief.
Living in fear,
and confused beyond belief.
So we trade blank stares,
and long broken looks.
Emotions stripped bare,
as if robbed by crooks.
We hope and we pray,
we hide and deny.
Emotions run wild,
as tears fill our eyes.
The pain runs deep,
the pain is immense.
Why did this happen?
Nothing makes sense!
The answers come slow,
the answers aren’t clear.
Few bring us comfort,
most bring us fear.
The doctors don't know,
So who do we ask?
We question our future,
they question our past.
We ask our families,
we analyze our genetics.
We search answers,
like a cop with forensics.
Which medicine helps?
Which medicine hurts?
The doctors keep guessing,
Not sure what might work.
So I stare at the ceiling,
night after night.
Wondering what to do next.
Is there a wrong or right?
Some say they can't imagine
Some say it will pass.
Some break down and cry,
All pray it won't last.
So we lean on our family,
we lean on our friends.
Searching for a cure,
praying for an end.
Will today be different?
Or more of the same?
The ups and the downs
will drive you insane.
Have we made any progress?
Is he better today?
The days fluctuate wildly,
it is really hard to say.
Compromise and sacrifice,
have become our new friends.
They come around each day
from beginning to end.
We have all been affected,
It has taken its toll.
It has changed our family,
it has changed a sister’s role.
What's wrong with eyes?
she struggles to understand.
The expression on his face,
the jerking of his hands.
She recently turned 9,
but really is much older.
Once a little sister,
now a brave soldier.
She’s learned the signs,
as watches his eyes.
She's learned to be strong,
she’s learned to compromise.
She takes it in stride,
amazing us all.
Instead of collapsing,
she just stands tall.
Our spirits are so low,
we just want to shout.
Our will to carry on,
has just about run out.
But wait...
A day without seizures,
could this be real?
I am afraid to believe,
I am afraid what to feel.
Was that an anomaly?
Or is a change on the way?
Is the diet really working?
Has the Lord saved the day?
For one day, then two,
the seizures are gone.
We smile in disbelief,
hoping we aren't wrong.
Unexpected and violent,
it wakes us at dawn.
Flailing his body,
proving we were wrong.
It appears they are back,
we hope just for today.
We look at each other,
unsure what to say.
The frequency is less,
the severity is more.
Is this making progress?
We really aren't sure.
Press on, stay focused,
stick to the plan.
God is pulling us closer,
our lives in his hands.
Then one day its over,
abrupt just like it came.
We reach for the heavens,
praising His great name.
Our prayers have been answered,
God faithfulness has been true.
Now go serve and help others,
as He has done for you.
Property of Derrick Rumenapp. All Rights Reserved