It’s that time again! Time to celebrate our accomplishments and plan the year ahead to achieve our dreams. Ten years ago, this wasn’t easy for me. In fact,  it required self awareness, an inspiring environment, a personalized approach and creating my own “process”.

My Awareness

Work had always brought the most consistency in evaluating the current year and planning the next year. It had a rhythm that was formalized and an annual review process that was used. Better yet, it was documented with deadlines, aligned to strategies and had agreed to outcomes. In short, it was clear, measurable and consistent. Outside of work though, things weren’t as organized, articulated or intentional as I wanted…I eventually admitted. Life had begun to feel like a never ending conveyor belt of tasks, projects and activities unrelated to any well defined or inspiring dream. To make matters worse, the reasons or the “why” I was doing these things became unclear, thereby minimizing the level of joy I felt even when tasks were completed. Eventually, this led to frustration, anxiety, resentment and withdrawal. Admitting where I was back then, would become the first step.

The Environment

After sharing these concerns with my wife, we decided a weekend away was needed. Somewhere inspirational to reconnect, reflect and recharge ourselves…and honestly for me, just escaping life for a little while. We found a beautiful log cabin (we call the “camp”) on a nearby lake and rented it for 2 nights. The weather was cold and snowy (it was February) but inside the cabin, the fireplace popped and crackled as we fed it wood, keeping us warm and cozy. With a stocked fridge and nowhere to go, it was the perfect beginning to what would become an annual pilgrimage for us. A place and a time to review how we think about life, how we measure progress and how we intentionally plan each year towards achieving our dreams together.

The Approach

Motivated to “accomplish” something during our weekend escape, I approached it much like work…structured. I created a PowerPoint deck with a formal, printed agenda with time slots and activities I had thought through days before arriving. I had YouTube videos to watch, podcasts to listen to and books to read (I know, a real shocker to those that know me!).  Admittedly, this was a little over the top but this approach worked well for me, unlike my wife who preferred a more “creative and spontaneous” approach. Instead, she simply arrived that day with a beautiful journal and a pen. She then immersed herself in the amazing environment, sat comfortably in front of the fireplace and began to reflect and write.  In the end though, I came to realize it was more about finding what worked for ourselves versus conforming to any one “approach”. 🙂

Now, almost 9 years later, we still rent the same cabin each year (now 3 nights instead of 2), cook our meals and find a quiet place in the “camp” to begin the process all over again… in our own way.

My Process

For me, the process has evolved over the years and now is comprised of reflecting on 6 Questions not only when we are at the camp but on a bi-weekly basis to maintain momentum and consistency:

WHERE was I in my life and what mattered?
Sounds easy. It wasn’t initially from me. In other words, how was my marriage, our kids, my health, our finances, my faith, our family, my career, my relationships, etc. How did I feel about each area and how was I doing? What REALLY mattered?

WHO was I becoming?
This was a tough one at first too. Not only did this require self reflection but real honesty. Was I the dad and husband I wanted to be? Was I living my faith? Was I taking care of my body and mind? How was I developing myself EVERY day? Was I striving to become the best version of myself? In the end, the realization was that I needed to be authentic and seek intentional, congruent progress, not perfection.

WHAT did I want?
Besides the obvious material things, what did I want for my marriage, our kids, my health, my finances, my service to others. Thinking about my dreams and what I wanted for each area of my life gave a more complete picture of the things that would bring fulfillment not only materially, but spiritually, emotionally, and psychologically. Harmony, not balance was what I sought after.

WHY did I want it?
Why did I want these “things”? What would I teach my kids based on what I pursued? What was my legacy and what would be on my epitaph (headstone) and in my obituary? The reasons or the “why” became the fuel to ensure clarity and progress towards the dreams, in good times and in challenging times. It also helped to eliminate those “wants or whats” that had weak or the incongruent motivations.

HOW would I get there?
Having a written plan has power and brings clarity. It represents the first step in committing to actions to achieve our goals for the year. Some plans and actions were general and some were detailed, but each were linked back to the dreams and reasons in each area of life.

HOW would I stay on track?
Asking for help and sharing my personal goals was never a strong suit of mine. Nor was maintaining an empowering and intentional routine. Therefore, sharing my dreams with others, asking for help, revisiting my current habits and hiring a coach were the single biggest success factors to help me stay on track. This provided an “accountability” structure and helped to define the habits and routines necessary to stay consistent.

Way of Life

The approach, the process and the outcomes evolve each time I go to the “camp”.  It is not just an annual process or limited to being in a specific place, rather it has become a way of life. Although my wife’s approach is different, we still both intentionally define, share and align our dreams with each other. This then serves as an example for our kids on how to live their lives. In fact, we recently started to bring them on a separate trip each Spring to this magical place to teach them how to reconnect with who they are, the process of dreaming, and being intentional about how they approach their future. There is no PowerPoint deck for them, just being with us, immersed in the moment and discovering “their own way to the future”.

How about you?

Are you achieving your dreams?

Where do you have the most clarity?

What’s your “process”?

How do you stay on track?

Listen to the podcast on Brilliance: Leadership Learning – Growing into Coaching by Derrick Rumenapp